M

y friends and family have enjoyed a little quip I have been using lately when talking about our expectations of people.

I hear something like, “Then they lied right to my face! Can you believe that? The nerve!”

To which I reply, “If a snake bit you, would you be surprised?”

It’s what they do! You mess with them, they bite you. You hang around with people long enough, they hurt you.

Everyone likes to say how he is not perfect, and how he is just like everyone else. And we nod and sympathize, saying we are not perfect either.

That feels good in the moment, but what we are really saying is that when he hurts us, we are prepared for it and even expect it. We will love him anyway despite his imperfection.

That rarely happens because we are also imperfect. We get offended. Easily. All the time.

The mean person making life hell keeps doing the most shocking things. Acting like a person! The nerve!

Now, this isn’t an excuse for bad behavior or for hurting others, but I truly believe that if we are going to progress as people and grow in love, we need to end the drama at the offense, not perpetuate it.

By extending someone grace in this way, you will not only find a better friend, you will tap into one of the most powerful antidotes to evil in the world.